The Art of Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the most important thing you can do, but you have been doing it according to some pre-conceived structure that when finished should make you feel better. Forgiveness is not for the person you hated or the person you believed had wronged you. Forgiveness is for you, and for you alone! When you forgive someone, you make up your mind not to dwell on the event or slight or mistake and to let go. The person, for all intents and purposes, may still be a bastard, but you will no longer allow your mind to be tricked into dwelling on the past of your life on their offense.
Forgiveness is not saying that what you did to me was OK. It's saying that, all you did to me was not OK, but I no longer care. When you do that, the angst that you feel is dissolved and that person is no longer the thought object of your life or the reason things in your life are wrong. Things in your life are wrong because you see them that way, and not because of anything else. It is just your evaluation of your immediate circumstance, or your projection of loss or harm in the future.
Forgiveness is the clearing of your mind of the clutter of hate in all its forms and the beginning of learning to love yourself. What then happens is, that which was an obstacle and a hinderance, becomes a goal and a motivation to move forward without the burden and the emptiness of anger and hate in any form.
Like all of us who constantly search, you will find that thing that is right for you - when it happens. Until then you should happily explore and do new things and have new adventures, from the smallest, to your concept of the largest. Test yourself and learn what you want and then do it. The only rule is - There are no rules to happiness. - Thomas
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